Advice on dating a single parent
Mitchell Milch, LCSW, submits this post: For many single parents, casual dating can be frustrating and annoying.
They either convince themselves they are better off not going beyond getting their feet wet (at best) or they deny and minimize their fears, which can lead to making reckless plunges. Well, the chronically painful realities of divorce that involve children may be likened to having a chronic and debilitating illness like arthritis.
Unless of course, they own these issues as their problems and are actively working them through.
I can’t count how many times I have heard inside and outside of my private practice things like: “he was an angel until he moved in and then, became a tyrant, “ or “She gave me so much freedom to be myself until we got engaged and then, she wanted to know my whereabouts every hour of the day” or “He was great with my kids until we got married and then, he became jealous and envious to the point of hating them.” In summary, to ensure that you are not blinded by the uncontaminated fantasies about a potential partner which assume lives of their own early on in relationships when there is little history together, clear boundaries, and infrequent contacts, please consider the following recommendations before you make any commitments and go beyond the point of no return.
Furthermore, many of us after unsuccessful marriages have our self esteem wounded, experience guilt over making our kids victims of decisions that didn’t work out, may begin to doubt our abilities to choose appropriate partners and even delude ourselves into believing we are entitled to and can realistically expect to forge intimate and satisfying relationships without risking disappointments and rejections.
Have you endured all the discouragement you can take in one paragraph?
Her children's games are the only ones she wants to play. Feel like she's perfect except you don't want kids?