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"This is a hidden public health hazard exploding, in part, because very few are recognizing it as such or taking it seriously," Dr. As a result, the diagnosis of cybersex addiction is often missed, Dr. Especially vulnerable to becoming hooked on Internet sex, he wrote, are "those users whose sexuality may have been suppressed and limited all their lives [who] suddenly find an infinite supply of sexual opportunities" on the Internet. Dana Putnam, a psychologist in San Luis Obispo, Calif., said other factors that could increase a person's vulnerability to cybersex compulsion were depression and other forms of emotional distress, relationship problems and a failure to get one's sexual needs met. Schneider among 94 family members affected by cybersex addiction revealed that the problem could arise even among those in loving marriages with ample sexual opportunities."Sex on the Net is just so seductive and it's so easy to stumble upon it," she said.Society's lack of education and understanding towards alternatives to heterosexuality has forced people, men and women, into hiding in mixed-orientation marriages.This leads to people not living their authentic lives, nasty divorces, children who question their own sexuality after a parent comes out and numerous other problems, not to mention unhappy endings (not the massage kind).Cybersex • Personal Health: First Step Is Recognizing the Signs of Internet Abuse (May 16, 2000) Related Articles • Health: Behavior • Health Columns • The New York Times on the Web: Science/Health Forum • Join a Discussion on Mental Health and Treatment ex is the hottest topic among adult users of the Internet, with studies showing that fully a third of all visits directed to sexually oriented Web sites, chat rooms and news groups. And it's very difficult to treat because the people affected don't want to give it up." Those most strongly hooked on Internet sex are likely to spend hours each day masturbating to pornographic images or having "mutual" online sex with someone contacted through a chat room.

Not sure if it's the thrill of the adventure or what, but I've encountered—both in my personal life and among the clients I've worked with—married men who take sexual risks, have sex more frequently than the average gay man and seem to see themselves as invincible because they're "married and only playing with other married men." Last time I checked, STDs don't discriminate between single, married, gay and straight. Often, people tend to seek help from those who haven't traveled a similar path. Just remember, you need to understand not only how you've hidden it for all these years, but how to come clean and be authentic about who you are, so you can someday become a married gay man ... Rick Clemons, The Coming Out Coach: Certified Professional Coach (CPC), Energy Leader Index, Master Practioner (ELI-MP), International Coach Federation, Associate Certified Coach (ACC).

Which leads me to wonder why, after I came out of the closet, I would never date a married man: Screwing up someone else's marriage is not my responsibility.

While I was married, it gave me a false sense of security to mess around with other married "straight" men.

I've also joined the ranks of the "happily divorced" and I'm no longer messing around with other married men, disengaging from the experience and pretending to be something I'm not.

However, contrary to popular belief, there are more "married men looking for married men" out there.

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All I need is a computer, an Internet connection and an hour of free time.

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