Neil strauss on online dating
But a misunderstanding of complex ideas seems to be at the heart of a lot of pick-up artistry.One PUA, a fat man called Gem, once told The Times that Richard Dawkins' The Selfish Gene taught him “everything I know about pick-up”.A search online for “dating tips for men” reveals hundreds of these sorts of sites, generally requiring a credit card.Usually at the top is a picture of a smiling man, with a tag-line like “Learn the secrets that let me charm 173 women in to bed in a year”, and a short article explaining that the author, too, used to be a shy nervous virgin until he discovered the mysteries of Pick-Up Artistry.Sartorially, that may mean wearing a fluorescent T-shirt and an asymmetric haircut, or makeup, or platform shoes – Mystery, we are told in The Game, sports the latter.This behaviour, apparently, is called “peacocking”. The jargon Similarly, like lots of little boys' clubs, the pick-up artist world has developed its own pseudo-technical language.It is not clear that any of the people involved know what they are talking about.Dr Petra Boynton, the sex educator and blogger, says that there is “no evidence of effectiveness” for any of the PUA claims.
You can't get far in the world of pick-up artistry without a silly name.
PUAs, of course, are the Pick-Up Artists themselves (entertainingly, if you get really good, you can be a Pick-Up Guru or PUG).
Before they were initiated, they were just AFCs – Average Frustrated Chumps – like the rest of us.
“Closing” means to seal the deal; there are various levels, including NC, or Number Close, where you get her phone number, KC, or Kiss Close, where you kiss her, and of course FC. The dubious ethics If you didn't think deliberately targeting women with low self-esteem was bad enough, a lot of PUAs base their techniques on something called “neuro-linguistic programming” or NLP.
It's purportedly a form of hypnosis, similar to what Paul Mc Kenna might use on you if you wanted to think yourself thin.
Luckily for everyone, research into NLP suggests that it is nonsense anyway; see below.