Among my friends and on social media, I have noticed a common phenomenon around blackness in dating: people are masking their blatant anti-blackness with the common rhetoric that “they’re just not my type.” Dating apps like Tinder and Ok Cupid have definitely made it easier for white people to see black faces and immediately swipe left.
However, I have also seen white friends and friends of color alike be more open to dating other nonblack races.
I found myself frustrated by their lack of understanding, but also frustrated by the fact that I cared at all.
Once this thought began to take shape, I started noticing more and more that most of my friends of color either dated within their own race or white people.
Perhaps they thought that their only options were to be in relationships with people who experienced the same race-based oppression they did, or to swallow their identities as people of color whole in order to better appeal to white people.
Was this some rare coincidence or was a statement being made about how nonblack people view blackness in terms of physical attraction?
It seems that what many non-black people aren’t wanting to admit to themselves are that these cheap claims of having a “preference” is just a mask for the fact that, inherently, you think blackness is unattractive.
Whether it’s because of our negro noses or afros, I am beginning to realize that so many of my friends’ dating preferences are linked to explicit racism and are rooted in anti-blackness.
Finally, if I were to state that, “I have no interest in dating a man”, I would receive very little, if any, condemnation for it, even from those who advocate strongly for gay rights.