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Grinding is less a pastime than a palm-sized addiction. Grinders spend an average of ninety minutes on the app every day—and not just in one session. In my experience, that's an unrealistic number. I never wanted to get to the neurotic stage where I logged on while walking around, so I made a point of doing less walking around. My theory was that Tops took it as a challenge, whereas Bottoms seemed to feel they'd already come up short in our imagined duel of wits, and that was good enough for them.It is also standard practice among grinders to steer clear of certain red flags.They actually market themselves on the thoroughness of their interrogations: What are your favorite sports, your taste in movies, your eye color?They have it all down to a science, selling their sites on that old adage, "Similars attract." On Grindr, you are permitted to write a 120-character profile and upload a photo, and that's pretty much all you get to spark that digital First Look Across the Room.Are you feeling the urgent need to hump someone in the general vicinity in the next seventeen minutes? Thanks to an ingenious GPS-based app called Grindr, gay men have been hooking up with other guys by whipping out their phones when they're horny. In an effort to divine the answer, Marshall Sella wades into the new world of "location-based" love The mechanics of it were simple.Now the tech visionary who founded Grindr is launching a version for straight people. I'd be milling around a trendy Sunset Boulevard dive, or lounging in a French Roast restaurant about a block from where I live in Manhattan. The photos came in a few varieties: guys trying hard to look really bored though super-cool; nude, hirsute torsos; guys doing that ridiculous bathroom-mirror self-portrait in which the subject always looks surprised even though he himself has just snapped the shot.So a whole dumb show would ensue, in which we silently gestured at each other across the café or bar—first quizzically, then in some weird, fake recognition, as if, oh, how we went back, such memories, and things like that. It's a mad ambition, and I had no idea if Blendr would work.
One guy spent a pleasant half hour at a restaurant regaling me with stories—then, learning I wasn't gay, very politely stood, silently folded his cloth napkin, and exited the building.
Together the sex-crazed and lonely hearts and the rest were building a digital neighborhood on top of their physical one.
Maybe, with Blendr, it really could grow to include Everybody.
exact location, I could see him on a map, too, in the shape of a red pushpin.
I knew to expect only one thing when our dot and pushpin met: that the guy wouldn't look much like his tiny picture. But the Grindr team, in September, was launching a new app, Blendr—which was not just for gay guys but for Everybody.
As any grinder knows, someone who doesn't supply even a fake or a ridiculously old pic is to be shunned at all costs.